something interesting i read today on the IHT

i think this is when...you read something else someone's gone through and think.

if she could live through the hardship and negativity and of course down times. i think i should too.

it's like inspiration you know?

""I am someone who came from the countryside to the city. I battled and battled, and today my children are studying, with one in college and two others in school. It's a gift from God.""

( IHT article...and side economics analysis of brazil )

does it? lol.

who cares. but i care enough to think that way.

watched dark knight. nice show. i kinda totally forgot what happened in batman begins.

the naming conventions all wrong.

normally it should include...batman 2. or batman struggles.

but yea nah i wasn't thrown off just that it sounded retarded. and the posters were abit iffy.

but i liked the show. i guess the trend is fallen heroes.

no one likes a hero that's perfect.

i guess it's like genesis. anything perfect is naive and innocent.

which is, pointless in this day and age.

i also love the way the story is told.

i guess people say it's draggy. but in the midst of it all. it teaches me something.

we're all used to...since young...used to wanting to reach an equilibrium. and fuck it we go celebrate cuz the baddies are in the locker and we can slack our asses off.

wrong.

because that's not how real life is lived.

and well that's not how the movie was done either.

we never reached that fairy tale equilibrium in "the dark knight"

i'm angry with myself whenever i see my current situation
i feel like my head's in a mess
i can party it all away and fuck my future up
and laugh like there's no tomorrow

but inside i know what i need to do i need to do

i've been cultivated(reversely) to let things be done for me
you know be the good boy let parents be happy.
and now it's fucking me back.

i've got to get it out of my system that i needn't do anything

if the damn water's on the table. and i'm too lazy to get up from bed to get it.
guess what. no one's gonna have a drink.

and i also gotta realise.
I shape my boundaries.
i need to remind myself of that.

but when i do. and i look at how things are - job.
and how little time i've spent doing and building the things that matter - fitness, relationships(my way), personal development.

it's like i feel like punching myself.

i hate it.

and if you can understand that. extrapolating the present to the future.
everythings just gonna slip past my hands like sand through holes in a bag.

it gets me even more angry.
it always gets me in the lift.

on the way up.
back to wherever i came from before the day began.

that moment.

i never ever face the lift door when i'm in the lift alone.

i walk in. not turning around.
and the day flashes past me.

my little blue box.
where truth confronts me.
where i fight disappointments.
including that of myself.

that's why i want out. out of singapore.
out of my familiar and lulled comfort.
well constructed and in built by my parents.

but that's why i don't mind losing everything.
to gain a foothold into the next realm.

people think...that's me

i tell you. you ain't seen the real me much.

i've more than 80% of the time subdued.

i'm fully unleashed roughly in sports and soccer.

and even then i'm curtailed because it isn't my career but a bag-full-of-holes-endeavour-that-i-give-my-whole-heart-for

i'm fucking warped.

and i need to change things around.

i need to.

i can't take it anymore.

it feels so headless. and it's eating away at my fitness.

i'm not clear what's next. my runs also go out the window. my training regime too.

to ask why is foregone.

we must move on and move forward.

fuck fuck fuck.

that sounds good.

gosh.

i guess history begins now. in the little choices and the urges i push myself through.

i get to shape history.

and it starts with me.

i'll figure it out i swear.

and i'll make sure i fucking rise to the top.

it's like learning to walk. the limbs of the mind are weak to take action. but by the nuturing opportunies that come their way. pray me i shall take it.

i'd gladly trade a finger or two. just to dominate my life and be on an upward path.

a physical limb or a mental invention, initiative, and intention.

i'd take the latter.

PUT ME ON THE EDGE!

            i knew the life it would feed

                                    a respite from searching
                                             filled by these little seeds
                                                       i left it out on the sill when the sun was out
                                                                it would hit it and the light would bounce off it

                                                                         -nashon

more dense talk shit

only if you want it then click away if not ignore!

touched down at around 30minutes to three at singapore's budget terminal

cynically greeted with a mega poster that read "Budget Terminal - Enjoy The Difference"

i was wearing 3 layers on top and 2 layers bottom. standard at the least.

i don't think i've missed singapore at all.

and it's not that singapore ain't that fun.

on the way back on the cab. rushing through my mind was a burning desire to compare, analyse, cross-section, separate, distinguish the differences in the various cities i've been to.

amid the volume of details, a statement came to mind.

singaporeans live like they're really on an island. or "island mentality" to put it.

singaporeans are largely not able to deal with accomodating external demands. there's a stark feeling that, cities like sydney, melbourne, perth, tokyo, and even perhaps taiwan, have come to terms with their place and exposure to the world at large.

that they are not an "island" per se, but freely welcome others to live with and alongside them, even if it's with a different language, culture, race.

to singaporeans, anything new will get mobbed. anything different will get gawked. anything, any single damn thing, that's different is first super skeptically cross examined.

i've come back to my laptop sitting on this table somewhere in the tropics in the world.

i've come back with many things to write about.

all of, experiences, thoughts, conclusions, lessons, exposure, peoples and revolution.

it's 4.22am now. i started typing at around 4am.

i don't want to lose this moment.

where my 2 week experience in australia is just confined to a memory.

when the choices made daily there, are only confined to there and not here, here where i now sit, perhaps temporarily.

i don't want to lose the momentum of learning a new way. of doing things a new way.

it's not the fun that intrigues me. or that i just did so many things, and so many new things everyday in Australia.

it's not just that that i don't want to leave and put into the box. go away and undust it some day.

in a sense, i wish to freeze frame this moment. how even if my eyes were to be a neon signboard saying insomniac. i would not let go.

it's not avoiding the upcoming job search and job hitherto.

i feel all my experiences will help me in expressing myself and benefitting my employer.

but only if i can, as though a living organism, hooked up to a life-support system, encapsulate and implant it forever into what controls and defines and moves me.

beyond the wonderful sights, great action, indulgence, friendships, communication, thoughtfulness, fun and determination manifested during the trip's course

let my cultivation continue

and not look back to what was past.

i am actively stimulated, and definitely, the box world i used to live in has gone into the cardboard refuse cycling plant, never to be the same again.

i really thank my daddy god. i see him and hear him speak, teaching me as i go along, none to the passing eye detects any of such inklings.

ideas! they are priceless. and if any amount of money, could spark a new one, it would be more than handsomely paid off in due time.

it's over
my degree is over. BSc. Economics and Management

and Level I test is over too(pass or fail we'll find out soon)

had a dinner at lousy yoshinoya @ central. rice was stale everything was stale.

trooped over to jazz@southbridge

friends were abit apprehensive about the flamingLambo

so i just took the plunge.

it was okay.

about half an hour late. i and yang shared the waterfall. it was not as bad as the lambo.

i sit here now in a slightly not normal state.

but i'm happy.

i'm happy that i've returned to a happy state.

life was always meant to be happy. i was always meant to be self-confident. self-assured.

i'm happy. God told me He loves me no matter what today. as i was washing my face @ about 8am in the morning.

i get to do my career stuffs. althouhg i really wnana move overseas.

i've been telling people my prediction in 5 years time. there's no space in singaproe.

i'm seriously considering moving overseas.

i will work my ass off. but i cannot stand overcrowding. 3 years have come and gone and i do FEEL the effects of the government trying to increase full employment past up until a max popuulation of 6million.

maybe it works maybe it doesn.t

the other good thing is that i'll mvoe to a low tax area. hongkong . georgia. cayman islands. etc.

plus skip reservist once for all.

aged whatever. i realise. i do have th epower to choose what i want in my life.
from friends, activities. my name.

and now. citizenship according to benefits that help my career and future.

some people are happy and call themselves successful when they get a S class.

for me. i think. wtf is an S class. why would i listen to what you say if all you can think of is an S class..

WTF 300k only.

please. o please. i would rather commit suicide if that's all i get in life.

so maybe i forget what i deserve in life thank to Jesus.

but wheni remember. i remember all the way.

i beleiuve i'm worth at least 300billion dollars in this life time.

so S class....i MEAN WTF IS AN S CLASS

how about a MOzzler?

screw u small minded people.

i didn't live on past 7th july 2001 for an S class.

so yea. maybe i'll start a family soon. i don't know.

i know that today i graduate fully.

today. i wear my career hat forever.

i get the full chance to build my life....

so all u fugging small minded people. go suck if you're not happy with what u have 20years later ok?

if you wanna eat 2000 calories a day and complain why my fat level is so high...GO FIGURE

thanks. i'm a dose of reality.

and like stout. it's abit bitter.

nonetheless i love the people near me. and as much as i can i wanna love them int he way love is.

love accepts, edifys, and self sacrifices.

nonetheless. the blue print is the same

don't taint me with your shitty small expectations of your own life

GO !!!!! a TREE. yes. hope you enjoy the shag too in the meanwhile...

i'll seeya when i seeya.

cheers

BOOYAH!

wazzzup!
i'm not freaking out that i no-bullshit-assessment that i do not have enough time for CFA.
which idiot thought to study content that encompasses 3 years of an LSE degree + A level stats + investment theory
in 4 days.
and the paper would unleash everything in mcq(o they're merciful) format in 6 hours.

 i pray the Lord guide my pencil.

but beyond making dumb excuses. I AM THAT IDIOT.

i regret. but what to do. this is like the euro2008s(starts FREAKING tomorrow)
right after the end of the season of playing 60-70 club games!

i love what i'm studying. that's why i can just wake up. and stone in front of what i'm studying for long hours.
i get excited when i read regression. i get excited when i see NYSE or GIMP or GAAP
and NNP G Y NX MPL MPK
and Accounts receivable, payable, CAPITAL, EQUITY,

i really do. i really really swear and honest to god. like looking at a really hot babe on the street or hot guy.(must be non singaporean or look non singaporean)

that it does excite me the same way.

soccer excites me abit more. and maybe completing my sessions of training.

but after those two. it's that!

my dread. my hatred is that i've now only less than 48 hours left.
AND

i don't have any more NO2 to boost me.

i refuse to study through the night because i'll lose my brain power(industrial econs proved that)

but i do love ALL that i'm studying. financial statement analysis. economics. quantiative methods. ethics. fixed income and derivatives and alternative investments.

i mean...if you wanna know what nashon's about. he gets excited about those.

but i'm fucked la.

it's like asking me to train up for 80km run. when i only have 3 days.

i love running. i DO one day aspire to be at that level...BY JESUS NAME!

but yea...it just sucks la...

so i do foresee myself doing cfa again in december...bar a retarded miracle. retarded because it doesn't help build my character.
but if i get it then i'll do level II in december or june next yr lor and duly thank god for it.

but i know i WANT to read up on all these. because these are industry standards. and stuff i love.

not jsut to build up my resume or some shit. yea.

but i do feel tired. i really do. i miss screaming in the lift.

i miss screaming my own songs and jibberish and talking utter rubbish with excitement.
i miss running with joy swimming with love cycling with pursuit

gargh. 3 days to june 9th. when it all ends. and something else begins.

i've already lined up all my activities fer next week up until i fly off at 1015am Friday

so yea. but cna i say. economics is such a different sub to like CF.

it's so interesting. cuz CF is like so totally looking in the box.

but economics is so looking at the entire earth that the  box exists in.

haha!

i love all! C: muaks!

it's like having a date knowing u got only 45mins with ur date...i mean WTF MAN!

haha.

today. okay so i missed the 12am deadline.
but well today 3rd June 08. i'm graduated. not in the mood yet cuz i have CFA on sunday.
but something my schoolmate shanice said...pointing at the this snow ice stall we walked past SMU
she said, remember that.
for a moment, still speeding along life. i didn't catch it.

then it all came in.
a bunch of us had snow ice there, 3 years ago. 3 freshies or sophomores.
at that same bench that's there.

3 years. gone. i'm walking free now. free from UOL. hopefully by god's grace a 2:1 2nd upper honours.
and i look back. how far he's brought me.
i wrote in my own personal journal.
things between me and Him. things i can't hold back. things, my heart tells me everyday. and i tell Him.
things that are in essense me.

he's led me through so many things. taking so much. demanding more(from the next)

but i know in this season. He's just been the bestest father and daddy god.
shaping me. showing me stuff, asking my opinion. letting what burns my heart be brought forth.
showing me what life is about, what people are about, the subtle things that go unsaid, how to manipulate things in your favour, why i feel the frustration i feel inside, where does it come from, how do i release it and realise it into reality.

closing the session. he's taught me about friendship. partnership. picking and choosing people who run with you. instead of against you.
people who believe support encourage you. of like feathers. of like beaks. of like scars or scarred before.
i've been quite shui bian about who and what.
but a 'non-decision' is a decision itself.
but i guess i just didn't have a set of values beliefs ideals goals objectives to back up my decisions.

anyway.
it's come and gone. and on sunday i have my CFA.
CFA to me was a choice i made. concerning my career. building my future.
it's part of. though not totally crucial.

i'm moving forward already.
moving on.
like my previous post. my feet will vote.
my mouth will try to communicate and persuade and sway.
my heart will lead, entertain, aide

i have certain targets. targets that are listed on the side.
other targets can't be listed because i just wanna have it there. until it's done.

i really want to be shipped overseas. maybe to utretch. maybe to london. maybe to dubai. maybe to shanghai. maybe to new york.

i want to be developed stretched.

my far sighted(i like) friend was asking me as we walked out of the expo hall 4a. he even asked us to take picture. awesome! i was too caught up. too machine like. forgetting. after all i known him 3 years too. he's a nice chap.
we were discussing about MSc. and GMAT.
i say yea. i'll probably do it once i settle my job.



my other friend got her offer from hyatt, i'm really happy for her. 2.4k/pm. i believe she can do very well. i've always told her that. i still believe so.
i know a winner when i see one. yea so go get the world girl!
but in my heart i'm like, shit, i've been sending resumes since last year.
still nothing. i really don't want to waste time doing say customer service, sales, or even settlements.
i mean i can. so many openings. but it's not. it's not. it's not.

it's like telling me to learn basketball when all i ever loved my life is soccer.
i've made some bad choices. and even about soccer. but i learn and won't make those again

if i do end up on the streets of shit somewhere.
i'll still churn out what my profession requires. surely God can develop me to develop a trading system or innovative product that everyone needs. i feel i need to be on the receiving end of shit to respond.

some people question why i move out. i think it's awesome. i still do.
i don't think i'll move back.
but i do say my family relationship has improved. we've talked more in the few hours we sit together than the last 6-7months before i moved out.
we appreciate each other more, and well are forced to communicate more.

i've also learnt, sometimes, the only one who believes in what you're doing is you.
but that's all you need.
and that's all i need right now.

looking back. so maybe i didn't get 1st class honours like i set out and wished to do.
but i was so dis-focused. so living so many lives. trying to do too many things at once. (still do)

it's like driving a car. if you hit the corner turning in with too much power on the throttle. you're either going straight into the wall while turning.
or you're gonna get your car spinning out.

well but i must say. it's time to consolidate some of my friendships.
it's a small group of them.
but yea i cherish them cuz well they kinda accept my retarded nonsense.

looking back, there was something consistent. i was always late for class.
i was asking god why. as in like just laughing curious.
he just told me. innately right. i was always bored and when i understood what was happening. i would turn off immediately after that.

although coming late meant missing much. and having to rely on others for information.
you loved it innately because it challenged you.

looking back at my final year. i played like there was no tomorrow.
i was working part time up until november.
when school term started in september!
december was full of gatherings, playing.

the nonstop activities lasted until may.
when i finally toned down. for 2 weeks i didn't run or shit.(feel like shit now)
just pure study and sleep.
it felt alien. and there were times my focus was lost.
i denied myself. i'd just stare. i'd fiddle with my phone. i'd sing songs. escape from the work at hand

but then he'd remind me not to do that so...yea.

i danced, i clubbed, i drank(not much), i hung out, i watched movies, i played football, i went running, i moved out, i socialised.

my job searching will continue.

my studying will continue. beyond cfa also. because i know it's part of what ill be doing anyway.

yea i guess part of growing up is choosing what u can do. and sticking to it for the rest of your life.

work is work. fun is fun. u can have both. and there can be both in both!

whatever la...

so yea. i've graduated. my counter on my other blog has run it's course from the first year i put it there.

*fake tears*

i can't cry now. i wish to. to say thank you Daddy God. to thank you for what's going to come because i know i'll challenge you in every way to give me more. but also that you are just gonna take care of me.

i was listening to mariah carey's bye bye the whole of this morning last night while i was studying(slpt 4 hrs only)

it just felt right. it gave my heart meaning. i'm studying for my last paper.

i felt i was saying bye bye...yet i knew there'd be a time i would be number 1...but who would be with me then?

C:

C:

i just caught this show. it was totally awesome
i was so taken in. i forgot to drink my coke light from the second i put it down(and how impossible is that)
in fact i only remembered i bought coke light AFTER the movie when i felt something was missing.

so awesome. i hardly said much words except "wow her dress!"
"waa the wardrobe is awesome. looks like heaven. wish the insides would slide out though"

and after that i was silent throughout the movie.
absorbing. enjoying. fantasizing(not about sex u fool!)

i think right. granted so if you're the sort of technical person who sees a dick, a boob and think tht's R21. so be it.

honestly i feel, and controversily feel that those who've never come close to petting, sex or whatever right? should just not watch the movie.
what's so exciting about sex. people can get bored with it. even if you have it all the time it won't make you happy.
it's only good if it's with the one you love.
and you'll see tonnes of these kinds of sub themes running through the movie.

no one's perfect. and if you expect them to be, then you might be the one asking for forgiveness one day.

and anyway there's just so much more to talk about than the sex. like i said. only those who've never had it, put up all kinds of fences around it.
those who have experienced it, or toe around it. know it for what it is.

anyway so much more to talk about!

marriage is such a big thing. and it is!
and we're not perfect. it's something ya gotta work at.
it's not about the glitterati. it's not about others. it's about just two people.
"you and me."

i love that.
i also love how sarah jessica parker always looks good in different dresses and outfits that just look absolutely brilliant!

totally love each outfit!

totally love the activities. the apartment. the personal assistant rocks. and having that kind of relationship with them. and yea well. there's just so much.

it's an awesome movie. i'd watch it again.

she's a writer too! lol. i was also really intrigued by that. especially when she began to type about love?
and when she just said...the next part is about love...and what happens when you found it...

but the guy was awesome too...mr big. and the other guys too.

but u notice, guys run alone. the girls have each other.

i think us guys are lagging far behind.
but perhaps also maybe because we don't appreciate each other...and give each other space...if you notice...each of these 4 friends did kind of have different wealth levels.

and tastes and stuff. but they were more for the relationship.

guys well...i know guys. i am one. i guess we get distracted by the achievements and stuff. we don't talk about our feelings and stuff. rarely do we/allowed to cry.

yea there's so much more exciting stuff.

watching how they work. balancing play/work. who does what in whose life and where they go.
who they mix with. and who they don't.

what's faux pas, what's acceptable.

they don't let wealth distract them from relationships.

and like the last big tag line of the movie before it ended...labels...we just gotta look past them...

and at the real person..

aww man...everything! just melts my heart.

but the guys kissing that i yea...they don't even look compatible! but yea love the dresses, the fashion, the locations.

i guess watching with my classmates of 3 years also helps. they would get the movie, so when i turn and ooze at those stuff they wouldn't give me the weird look ya know?

helps!

http://edition.cnn.com/2008/BUSINESS/05/30/CMI.question/index.html

Article: "How to retain talent."
Jo Causon
Director, marketing and corporate affairs
Chartered Management Institute

---

the bold stuffs are actually what i have in mind as i begin my career soon.
in other words, i'm after what those managers are wanting.
it's something that burns in my heart. i want to be stretched. i want to be developed. i want opportunities.

so in that case.

i'm pretty flexible about where to begin. basically want an exposure to capital markets, derivatives, equities, trading, products, business-ideas in capital markets,risk.

NOT sales. NOT client/private wealth management. NOT corporate actions/hr/IT/n others.

but on top of that like all the stuff in bold.

the article may be about how organisations might consider improving to retain talent.

but it also shows how i feel about myself.

i'm all about moving forward.

i seek to challenge myself. i seek to accomplish, develop, build, expand myself.

and the article captures what i feel.

i'm learning to ask myself about whether am i completing my own objectives. because at the end of the day i have to answer to myself, when i look at where i want to be, and where i am at.

so i get to make those choices.

if you infer and extrapolate how i feel, over how my life will be over the next 2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10 years...so that'll be 2018.

i won't be wasting my time in organisations that don't build me to take more on. and perhaps that includes some organisations.

i have my objectives. and there's not much time to waste in developing me first before i can accomplish those.

and those objectives accomplish my goals. and those goals sit well within the deepest regions of my heart.

so like what i said to some people who were not-getting-it with my plans. i tried to communicate. so best as i could muster and lump rationale, communication, and demanding a clear-cut response.

"if you love me, encourage me."

and like an entry i posted somewhere in march'08 in this blog.
i give you the offer to be part of the solution. if you reject it. then you're just part of the problem.

and i like to think of myself as very good at solving problems.

it's in my resume anyway. (okay not about the paragraph below)

like how i treat my football. i'm very clinical in putting the ball into the back of the net(scoring goals) and very clinical in my tackling(dispossesing the opposition of the ball). i make sure it's done, done well and don't stop until it's done, and on top of that, it also fits into the whole big picture of the game.(meaning you tackle at the right moment, so that you can counter-attack easiest)

so that's my style. my innate work flow. so if you're not getting-it-with-me. well...too bad then.

you can't fool me with pseudo-"love and interest in my life" and pseudo-mentorship just so i can run your biddings

when all along you were never interested in developing me, never interested in my objectives. and still ain't.

so I "will vote with their(my) feet and look for an organization that does..."

so i thought maybe if i threw everything at it
i just might do well and ease on up for the last subject...so i can begin CFA preps
BOY were my plans uncovered. i feel like i was hiding with a grenade and it suddenly exploded.

economica industriale - industrial econs 279 0099. has just turned from my best paper ex-ante may 2008 to the worst paper.
come to think of it i think i'll be happy to get 34 with my shitty answers.
i covered it with Jesus blood. blind the damn examiner.

the stuff predicted. well let's just say it all went AWOL
basically everything predicted was NOT there
next, that means everything was up in the air

i mean i tried my best. i fought hard for 3 hours.
i left angry. angry that i had let it slip.
but you know what. i still believe.
setbacks, rude shock, etc, i still believe.

i'm counting the cost of, sleeping 1 hour to maximise time to revise since the gap between the 5.30pm end of economica macroistruze to the 10am morning paper meant not much time.

i gambled. i told god i didn't know how to manage this.
so i thought less and did more.
i remember cursing at 4am-5am. i was a drugged out half-sliced of a cherry. i coined that term.
my guts are  blood red and showing. and my energy levels are waay below half of what it is.

studying powers, focus, all out of the window. by 7am, day light.
I felt like the survivor of a horror house. spaced out totally.
fatigue accumulated from macro economics + 1 hr sleep + overnight study + studying itself.

well...but rubbish experience aside. i still believe.

and i'm gonna fight this until the end. not "fight" fight. but i'm not gonna ease up on the accelerator.

it's my chance. it's my time.

i wake up. and when i hear myself saying. "future's at stake!"
o boy to some it will worry them. to me it's like putting fuel into my engine. it kicks me into a fire!

so yea but i'm forced to rest now. sort of. friday will be off. i fought hard to fully download Industrial Econs. but alas 7-8 hours for a year's worth of syllabus. I really felt I wish I had just a day's gap.

But as I left the airport for expo, I left all the excuses behind.
Although I was happy to leave that chilly hell hole. WHY THE FUCK MUST THEY MAKE IT SO COLD.

I WAS SHIVERING. IN MY JACKET!

and i was hanging on for dear life with a piping hot cup of long black. my brain worked only when my hands were warm.

so yea. looks like it's not gonna be an easy ride as I had hoped to ease into.

kinda like when manchester had to keep going at it until the final game. they could've done it earlier but yea.

so yea here's some pics with the sombre mood with which i study with.

this is my chance. my stage. Nashon's stage.

i see it that way. that's why i'm excited.

Nashon's resume. Nashon's product. Nashon's brand.

sounds far fetched? it's all in the details my friend...




guess what drink? oh yea if you know me...and love me...buy me one... i'll kiss ya fer it LOL sorta-ish.

left alone
locked in the chamber

he fiddled the stick between his knees
could he be the next piped piper

flung in a corner
books of lore and thunder
would he rather be a scupltor

hands clasped the wooden hammer
everyone stands muted like shadowed corners

waving about these two items
a gesture, a reaction, a display of emotion

in his heart he sought something purer
his vision distilled the rocks asunder

therefore he would daily sculp his scuplture
-nashon

he never held grudges
he always tried to bring everyone alongside him
never flinching to put in the time necessary
and in tough times, not looking at the clouds, but fully believing the sun's right there

it may have took him 13 years
and many a struggle and many a help from many a people

but he never gave up

now watch those others try to keep up

-description of someone i hold and learn from in such high regard, although at a distance

 sitting here with a combination of flashes has drawn a conclusion known to me that
i haven't had the time to pen it down..."pen"
actually i have many stuff like that that occur to me

i never liked TV. i still don't fancy it.
you can't find me...pining to watch the weekly drama serial. or the weekly drama serial. or that other weekly drama serial.
i don't know what's going on on channel 5. or 8. or central.
chances are if you asked me, "did ya see that commercial"
9.5 time out of 10 over the last probable decade. i'd say. "huh, what commercial"

and then i realised what i kinda realise all along.
i never liked TV since somewhere in secondary school.
i used to, slightly allow myself that time to watch cartoons(yes!) in primary school.
but i think when my first computer arrived in '95(gone went my eye sight)
juggling between the two, there was never any other choice except the 486dx2 that cost mom 3,000+ for a compaq(fucked up one too, never bought and NEVER WILL since then)

and i think when i turned off TV(telly is brit slang fer TV) in secondary school
i was actually doing something far more significant.

i was turning myself off from mainstream thinking.

you see, people who watch the TV and "subscribe" to it.
like you will naturally tune into it. and enjoy it.
basically write their world's boundaries with it.
wow. nashon. that's like sooooo making a mountain out of a molehill

but it's true.
this is actually the second draft of this entry because the first pure draft(i call it pure because it's always the best when i type it first time; subject to minor editing)
because i typed it on my mobile. and fucking wireless@sg disconnected. so i lost it entirely.
i HATE rewriting stuff i've written.
why? because i write with my heart, emotions, mind, thinking, all at the same time.
it's a moment.
and we all know moments in life are entirely super hard to replicate.
the pizzazz, the indepth details, it's like when the moon and sun and all the planets line up. *vua-la* an entry is formed.

so i'm doing my best to recreate the moment then.

so back to TV.
more so, actually, was i was sitting next to a bunch of ngee ann poly dragonboaters.
to me, dragon boating is a cliche activity.
every mother's son(army slang) out there is doing it.
and every mother son who is doing it is because every one's other mother's son is doing it too.

mindless.

i hated that since young.
i still do now.
TV was like that. with channel 5, and channel 8, programmed to make you see and think..."o so life's like that"

fuck you singapore TV fuck you!

and for all the son's of singapore you have programmed to suck on your propaganda.

which is why i loved the computer.

you get to choose what you put onto it. you get to choose what you want to do with it. you get to choose how many things at one time you want to do with it. and you get to create things with it.

TV? wtf i mean wtf.

don't get me wrong. i like TV when it shows stuff other people are doing. eg. sports, sports, sports, finance, finance, (especially those tickers on the bottom of the screen), finance, and the like.

i did find myself spending 4-5hours in front of telly scv channel 15 from 7+pm to 1+am at times.
that's when wall street opens. and that's when cnbc's squakbox and street signs and on the call and power lunch kicks in.

point is that, those ngee ann dragonboaters also reminded me of the people i met when i went to my secondary school.

i realised and even my english teachers told me...everything's simple. simple simple simple.

there's no two layers three layers or four layers...

take for example. writing a sentence.
they'd tell me. write one idea in a sentence. and full stop. and move on.

for example. "mr lim was happy. he then went down for lunch." 2 sentences

i would write. "The students responded well to the new training programme, I think we might just be able to sneak in a few more of them into the A1 band range," Mr Lim pondered delightfully, it had been a tough first 3 months on the job and the recent review with his HOD pointing out his weaknesses has definitely helped. Mr Lim caught himself, he looked at the clock, it was around 15 minutes past twelve, time for a quick lunch before he had to prepare for the next lesson for more secondary 4s, Mr Lim then boomed across the staff room, "Anyone want lunch, I'm going down to the canteen."

2 sentences.

so my marks in english was always shitty.
i never allowed myself to. hi my name is nashon. i feel happy. i want to go somewhere.
no i consider it a weakness. i never made it simple. i always layered it upon layers and labyrinths of text filled tomes, dust filled and ladder requiring, level of thoughts, all into a creaking-due-to-the-weight sentence.

so that's me. always a little bit more intense. a little bit more wanting of a challenge.

i look back in my life and think of what was really meaningful to me.

totally politically incorrect. and especially to the people who know me.
totally politically incorrect because the times that, okay not meaningful but, the times where i felt so alive, that i felt THIS was what LIFE is for!

were the times where i was barely clinging onto life itself. where, too much was loaded, too much required, with too little time, with too little strength, with too much odds stacked against me, with too much history against me.

with defeats piling up.

and then bouncing back.

that, was when i felt i really lived.

i do recognise, it makes me an entirely difficult partner, an extremely bad lover, a terrible person who you would expect to relate to you.

and i do realise that.

for some people, what makes them feel so alive. those relationships. those times pullling through together.

together, relating. yea.

but that's just not me. politically incorrect.

the me is the one. just loves to makes things hard for himself so that when he's done it. he would derive satisfaction.

i tell myself, i have to improve relating to people. especially in the future, when i swear and i do and will swear to relate to her, encourage her, support her, leave her alone for her space, cheer her, bring us forward, in the daily "boy this life is boring" daily grind of life

i can't be running off to knock down the nearest tall building.

that can be part of my job. sorta.

but yea.

i get bored easily.

sometimes sitting at the table. talking about simple things. while it is really awesome and helps the relating between any two people.

really bores the fuck out of me.

but here i can't make excuses.

if i were to continue my madness. i would end up alone. like climbing mt everest alone.

but yea. i'm always tempted to delve into the deeper things in life.
but do you know. that's just boring like hell. and the best way to KILL any nice setting. is to get all touchy about intricate complex details of anything!

i mean. feel free to kill all your relationships.

anyway. i plugged out of mainstream thinking because i always felt the world wasn't like that.

and 23 years into it. fuck i really feel i'm just 17 and life's just started so bear with me on the 23 year crap talk.

the world is really how you, how I want it to be.

you define your world.

if that stalker keeps stalking you. you do have the bloddy right to stick one in his balls. and get your macho guy friends(like me) who'd be willing to silly slap him until his teeth fall out and he can't see through both eyes and bleeding through his nose and we'll throw in some torn ligaments of any of his limbs too.

lol. okay that's abit violent.

you define what is and what is not.

some people, most, who watch telly, (no empircal evidence but i'm sticking my head out here)
believe there is an iron rice bowl in life.

most people who don't. don't want an iron rice bowl. and don't allow others to define their world too.

i believe you define your world.

i tend to overdo things, when something simple is only required. so that's my problem.

so that i'm learning. while i have these skyscrapers of thoughts and dreams.
i got to put my hand into the plough.

i admit. i definitely do live my life with my head in the clouds.
i do. i do. i do.

i think, look at that beautiful sky. and i think, why can't my life be as beautiful as that.
or why can't this or that be just more beautiful. intricate. etc.

the cynics and simpletons who have simple thinkings who pour over channel 5,8 dramas are my anti-thesis.

i've met tonnes of them.
i find i don't end up being too close with them either.

this is just me. flat out.

doesn't mean that they'll be poorer in life. it's just that we're all different.

and so while i can't shake off this habit of squeezing as many ideas as i want into a single sentence. then changing my sentence structure almost immediately. and adding more subjects into the paragraph.

i learn too that, when it comes to others, simple is best.

i guess i just like to be out there. hanging by a mast. in the pouring rain. lightning flashing risking a strike.

and then coming back into the warm redwood timber house, sitting by the side of the fire. i know i've really lived and felt alive.

so i had a shocking discovery while trying to find out when vesak day was
that my exam would be next thursday
that's 7 days time

i realise my mind's all over the place
if you leave me alone i'll prolly call someone, organise something, that would take up half a day
then meet someone else and organise something else, etc

and my week would be filled with non-study activities
and when i get 'home' i space out playing fuckbook.

so enough's enough.
anti social me shall make a return

o btw. had an email at 9.14pm from a certain buddy
here's what he told me...



yea and i was like wtf! so fast? i remember getting alot of my stuffs at 70%. includes a zara blazer at 70 plus bucks(hahaha u asses who bought urs at !!!! amounts)

and other river island hot shirts at 30+, jeans at 30-50+, 3/4s at 30+

so i'm abit not used to 50% discount.

plus that time of the year to shop has come upon me.

forecasting what i would wanna create this time

the theme would have the word "work" in it.

i already chalked up 92 pounds of desired items over at asos(most of it sale items)

darn.

with the travelling coming up.

that's already eaten a big hole of my future income(yes fisher's equation and CML line not gonna save me here)

i wonder how am i gonna shop this year.

btw. no major overhaul like last year.

i havent made it public but i will here. 1 year after overhauling.

last year i spent over 3000 on my wardrobe.

includes like about 15+ tops, 6-9 bottoms, 5-8 shoes, jackets, accessories, etc

well i had lost alot of weight (praise god) and all my stuff fit no longer.

this year however i think, a budget of around 500 would be suffice.

to last for maybe half a year.

then come december abit of tweaks. another 200-300 would be suffice.

o that reminds me...have to do my passport by tomorrow if not cannot get my tickets going.

i realised that changing my name from
Nashon j323432 Loo j3243 l32432
to
Nashon Loo Shun Liang

means...that UOL are gonna have some problems.
so i'll bring my old IC and smoke the invigilator. as in i'll bring both the old and new.

anyway deed poll(100 bucks) rules the world. maybe another 3 yrs later i'll call myself Nashon Infinitum Shun Liang
hahaha...naws i think i'll stick to this. forever. promise.

yea so i was talking about studying?
ha fucking damn short attention.

so anyway SALES ON PEEPS

but if you can bear to wait...the 2nd slashes at 70%...lovely...
guess does it (got their jeans at 70+ was 200+)
zara...etcs...

haven't been impressed by topman...although this season they have slightly improved. but they're no longer the leader.
in fact RI was the leader but now their collection just looks abit aimless. status quo. par.

o wells...so has been the whole S/S 08 season anyways.

so it's just minor tweaks.

after all all my clothes are 1 yr old.

C:

i do intend to after exams cut my thread count by half...and ship it to somewhere where they'll like nice threads...like salvation army or something
i believe these clothes can still be worn
and maybe it's not a big deal to me...spoilt...but it will be to whoever's not worn these brands before

C:

o yea so it's back to forever studying...bawhs

Jesus shall strengthen me.

I shall focus on nailing these goals.

I shall not entertain distractions.(i hope LOL)

tralala~

your hairy fur grew
around the edges between the nooks
time goes past
your cause remains the same

you pull out your pipe
fill it with your favourite tobacco
you ask me for a light
i politely decline

-nashon

here's umm something i've drawn to explain to myself about my life...
and the potential gains for...not being too hard on myself
and...just showing up long enough

you see my life's really like this.
i pick up something new and most likely i'm either talented genius at it or i'm crap.
for my ego sake i'll assume it's an area i'm a quick learner

so the graph starts at a non-zero.
i quickly rapidly learn as much as i can and do really well. (first peak)
but as always i do and will fall off

normally what happens then is...i just accept that mediocre flat line and then the graph stops there.

but the funny thing is that although i think it was a great improvement, it's not.
if only i had eyes to see maybe a few years later where i could be.

so...here's a life experience...that keeps me riding these peaks and troughs
not being hard on myself in the troughs
and not getting too excited by the peaks.
but just keep going at it.

on top of loving running. god has graciously allowed me to keep up at it
through more than a 2 years of training and ups and downs and flat lines.

there'll come this great moment (2nd peak) and the motivation is all high. trainings i plan for get kind of done(although not perfectly).

and then after that almost immediately a sharp down flat line,
or more normally a total retracement of any progress made
and then everything goes stale again

that's why...the phrase..."let love lead the way"
means alot.
if you love something, you'll ultimately go back to doing it...

and it's after like the say the third peak. you'll see there's a sharp retracement
plus
a decline...in real life...it could be an injury. or lost motivation. or busy with other stuff. for extended periods into and up to 2 months away from the stuff i love and want to get done
or just my trait of absenteeism...ran off to try something else shit

but then somehow we go back to it.
motivation comes back. we climb. but we're still at a low performance or result level.
and even if we climb somemore, we're still not as good as before.

i was. coming off '05 shoulder operation. i couldn't even run one 400m lap.
that was how my army ended.
the Med Officer who downgraded me when i came in with dislocated arm said, "wah fighting fit officer become until like that"
and he was a nice person

but i loved what i had.
i loved what He gave me.
i took it to the place where me and Him could talk long on end.
in between bated breaths.

easy? no
constant success? no
predictable fruits? no

in fact say the 4th highest peak was say last year's marathon. easily done.
but notice the sharp retracement.
that's what literally happened with all the december partying and hanging out and socialising.

but love will lead my way.

and it's like that too for any area of my life.

i can't let me be too hard on me.
i set pretty damn high hard standards and whip myself with it just for fun.
maybe it's my upbringing.
but things gotta change.

you first heard it here
hah

i've always wanted to plot that damn graph.
but now in this time period where i'm building my career
it's importance and wisdom of it is more valuable than ever!

praise god!

anyway. nothing in life is meant to be built for a few weeks.
if say you have a diet plan. and in your mind
your time horizon's only 1-2weeks.

i say. don't even bother starting.

you wanna start something.

give yourself at least 6 months

because you may reach one peak. and think that's the furthest you can go.

not true.

and you will think that the next day that you binge you think you've lost everything.

not true also.

C:

daddy god reminded me a long while ago. i used to think running 10km (x3) a week would be awesome.(tts back in '05-06)

he's brought me to a totally different level. and i totally forgot i told him that.


i mean i've learnt alot of stuff
and seen a small teeny measure of success in this area
success i crave because i know that's what His Cross has done and it's in me

so well...it's a good roadmap for me!

DIE BITCHES! YOU CANT FOOL ME NOW!

o and lastly to add...i wasn't talented in running. in fact i'm a big fat negative starting point. i was a fat kid since young. been told i couldn't run. been called every big sized animal / matter that existed on this earth.
never cut it with the "runners" of the school in pri, sec, jc, army

so this graph's abit wrong too.(just trying to apply it to my other areas of life where i am talented but FUCKING LAZY)

shit am i whipping myself again?

but this proves that. it doesn't matter where you start.

if you keep at it. and you love it.

because Jesus got freaking whipped and punished for my failings.

i'll eventually come up on top.

and maybe yea lose a few more friends who can't take the change. and those gawking comments.
o please...get some radical change in your life for yourself MAN

 

you ask me if i've forgotten
tells me you don't know

i can never forget

He came
and wrote on my heart and mind
things that forever change me
that He forever involves me

maybe only some will know

i guess you're not one of them

go figure n off while u're at it too

070701

i learnt a life lesson
a priceless one

"people only wanna come around you when you're fucking shining...
then...when you're down and out they just can't be bothered with you
so when they come around and offer all their nitty fucked up advice
that sounds so good
that sounds like they love you
they're actually painting you into their big picture
so somehow they can use you

nashon nashon...
what is the route already set before you...
that cause such joy that others see the sun and glory shining through you
that gives you that silly smirk and smile in the mirror every morning when you wake up
when frowns were nothing but nothing
and you felt alive and ready to take on more
stick to that
don't be distracted by the turkish delights the queen of the south puts before you
the great plans they want to attach to you

for when you stray
and your face is always filled with dismay
would they bother
no you would go to their scrap heap
no longer the working cog in their wheel set

strike out on your own
according to the principles you have learnt
according to the interpretation that makes life fun and meaningful again to you

you've had that experience once
suffer everything now again?"

people only fucking come around you when you're doing well...
then offer all sort of fucking advice that just messes up whatever you already have in place that got you to where you are now

people fucking wanna ride on your success
they'll coax you with whatever persuasions they can
but they're not thinking along the same strand

people fucking only wanna say what's according to their mind
their path
their route
their experience

i've enough.
i already gave up quite not so many few months. and some more recovering myself.
i've enough.

i know the path laid before me.
because this path was cobbered together by things simmering boiling in my heart for at least 6 years now.

go fuck up someone else's life.
someone who will subscribe to your system.

i'm not perfect.
so yes you can nit pick my failings now, so use them to make me follow you.
well neither are you.

if i fuck up my life and i read the things wrongly.
at least i can say i've tried.
and that separates me from the person He delivered me from.

so if you can't understand this

and if you say you really love me

you'd be on this journey with me

and not fucking in my ear with distracting doctrines motivations directions intentions

you'd be cheering me

you'd be supporting me

like i'm the lead driver in the team

cause i'm not driving for myself. i'm driving for the good of the team.

if you can't understand this

then there are many other souls around....

go find them instead

indeed i shall test whether you are for me...by whether you wanna follow my plan or tear it up before i began.

people only wanna fucking come and fuck it all up when you're doing well.
when the plan's finally getting down.

no more.
fucking no more.

i've observed this pattern for so long.

for so long.

my hands trail the texture like braille
i read a story
a story written in the fabric of time

should my tears fall for the lines and paragraphs written

i turn the other way
i try to remove my hand from this wall
but others place my hands on it again
i feel like my legs were spread apart
i feel captive and pressed

do they want me to read the things they want me to remember

are they rewriting my history
are they altering my future

i push my fingers through the fabric
and it breaks
such frailty
such frailty

facadé facadé
are you my past or are you my future
construction construction
were you not birthed forth from the very depths and desires of my heart

sunshine sunshine
are you not the one who lead my way
why do they want to cover my eyes
as if to make the clouds appear

my frailties my frailties
many will say it's ok
but i've learnt my lessons well
there is no place for a stutterer on a stage unless for comedy
there is no place for a fat blob in a war unless for oil trade
we may have stepped out once being such
but having left it
why do we dig the graveyards of old again

tepid wall you shall be a rock

i've loved football since i was in primary 5. my primary school friends like vikram, thomas, alvin lim, etc would run out at the bell to the field.(all of whom i'm not in any contact with nowadays)
we would then together with others play.
we hated PE because the teacher would make us run. but then he let us play for a few weeks.
i noticed something that when we were forced to go running, our movement and stamina was better.
yes, primary 5 kid, i notice all these little things.
i started as a goalkeeper. i loved peter shilton, walter zenga, luca marchegiani, gianluca pagliuca.
my first soccer camp was as a primary 6 kid. i first saw maldini's poster since it was a nike soccer camp.
i did very badly at it. and i could feel no one felt i was good.
i even quarreled with one of the more irritating camp participants at downtown east chalet then.
but i remember barry whitebread came to teach us. "don't run blindly, look up and run"
and this other coach who taught gheorge hagi came too. he taught us when hagi received the ball he'd go through this process. "look. pass. shoot." look first. if can pass pass. if shooting opportunity then shoot.
i loved italy since pri 5.(still do) and AC Milan since '95 when Baggio(my fav) went to Milan to get bullied by Arrigo Sacchi.

anyway entering secondary school. xinmin. without any football. banned. and a stinking sport called volleyball took centrestage. i still call it stinking now.
i remember out of love, i would, kick the ball against the wall for hours everyday.
i practiced really alot. and also crossing too, like beckham cause he appeared then too(still love him now).
i got pretty much better. except for stamina.
and would score alot of goals. modelling myself after ronaldo(still a fav) who could take out an entire team. and score.
something you'd have to combine c.ronaldo, messi, berbatov, rooney.
into one person.

that's why i always say. who is the real ronaldo.

my best chance came when my mom asked me would i like to go to italy in '98 june holiday for soccer camp.
she had a friend in italy who could help out.
fearing for the house finances(without any knowledge of the finances) i thought maybe not.
_|_ me for that.
i've only gone for one trial and i didn't do well at it. went together with alvin lim and his spanish friend to i think some green team's trial.
we had 4 big rectangles we'd play in.
and switched every 15mins with other boys.
i never did well in those situations.

although over the years. i've really studied the game's tactics. and the intricacies of each position.
and tried to some short spurts of success at each position.
i still love this game to bits.

i still love to score. dribble.
i love to stop play. i love to dominate the game too.
maybe recently i've totally lost touch with creating chances for others. something i used to love to do because Baggio always said "i love others to score on my assists". Kennet Andersson of Bologna can attest to that.
i love doing dead balls. i love calculating how much dip. how much back-spin. or front spin. or lift.
to put on the ball so that it will, just nice reach the head of my striker.
just nice curl around the defence.
just nice(with extra power) beat the goalkeeper.

my dribbling is abit off. when i run too much my feet get abit heavy and can't dance.
secretly i like to dance because i believe it'll help my football.

sometimes in my times of doubt.
i really think have i let pass my passion.
and let this whole finance and ironman ginggang replace it.

like today. we played in the rain.
it's been ages since i last did.
because you need EVERYONE to consent doing so.
and somehow everyone just did. (i nearly got my handphone in water trouble)

it was super fun.
i missed alot of chances i shouldn't have.
as a striker playing out and out. meaning your runs and positions are tailored such that you're there to only score. only shoot. only irritate the defense.
there was one where Fuckie and the Goalie clashed. the ball slipped out.
i knew it. before anyone could react. as usual. i pounced.
and from less than 3meters out. i skied it.
sometimes i wonder how professionals do it.
i don't wonder much anymore(unless u had the time of the world!)
sometimes your leg just suddenly doesn't bend right.like blood flow/sudden muscular disfunction.
sometimes. because i have short attention span. you don't look at the ball until the last moment.
and you get distracted.

i used to like counting the goals i scored. i don't now.
but each one i miss. i remember.
so that the next time i'll get it.
i thank god though that i do get to play alot of it.
i've banned myself from weekday and sunday games(meaning only saturday left)
until i graduate.

we finished the rainy game. where i dived on the concrete floor(thanks to aqua planing) after Melvin scored.
with the last 2 goals scored by us.
1 by Jenson. who NEVER scores.
kinda like Makelele.
but he hit a scorcher. kicked it off with his right. jammed deep into the ball. rocketed the top bar and bounced across the line.
and the last one by me.(he scored so he set me free from my goalkeeping role).
i got it somewhere off the middle line.
the midfield backed off.
i was surprised. maybe it was the rain or fatigue.
i had eternity to shift it to my left.
my teammates as usual begin to call my name. of which. being deaf to. i have become accustomed to doing. (too selfish me)
i saw in a flash that if i hit the ball somewhere just above the middle and wrapped it over with my left on the outswing. it would go around the entire mass of human bodies and go into the bottom left.
so i did.
and it was sweet as imagined. :)

nothing to get excited about as it's been done many times before.

but as i let out a woohoo celebrating my own goal. (lol. i'm a different animal on the pitch).

i reflect. how i still love this game.
i have the fitness. thanks to god. in fact better fitness than maybe singapore players.
i train for ironman. soccer games are max 2 hours. ironman requires at least a 12hour aerobic capability.(kinda off peak now so i'm about dropped to 2 : ( no worries tho)

i love just taking the ball and expressing what i wanna do with it.
curl it. backspin it. rocket it. chip it. front spin it.
it all matters.
and it's all love.
and it's sweet.

=\

but as life would have it.
it will always be in my heart.
but my path is laid before me.
and forwards i shall walk.

oo. i used to be unable to use my head.
but because of dancing and doing neck exercises. i think i'm not bad now! :D
bugger.

nonetheless. the football on tv now. is damn retarded.
players now are. so useless.

cristiano good? how many can he beat before scoring?
messi? where did he go.
maybe wesley sjneider.

yea. nuff said.
actually i wanted to create an additional blog to post my views and knowledge on football.
this IS the first time i've written about my love.
hah.

and then it hits you
10 years come and gone. and yet maybe it might be different but feels strangely familiar.
buses have moved on, so has technology.
no one knows it then.
but if you water it, it'll have roots.
and maybe more excuses to keep it going.
we fight challenges. fight to win approval. fight when the chance comes.
but what makes u feel at home.
what rests our hearts.
is it the socialising?



my first fashion consultant (now it's just me)
and well lifestyle consultant and art consultant and music and blar. (now it's just me)

i'm actually pretty miffed. for the first time my camera dumped me for a pretty gal.
on a 12000 dollar couch.
damn.
4 shots. zero good. but pauline looked fab, and sporting her new hairdo too.
asym bob. no less.

im not sure what my next 10 years will bring.
but it'll take some great effort to recall this.
however, i'd like to sit around with each of my friends 10 years on and just chill on some stuff since i'm close with some of my sec2 classmates.

and recently...



but the one i've been closest too.
i guess also cuz in JC we'd always be together.
always.
we were the sports dudes in our class.
he'd be banging balls in the mph. and i'd be banging metal in the gym.
one of the coolest things was when he laid on the bad news one day.
as usual we would go to the library to sleep.and.hah.
but this time we went to the quieter discussion room.
i will always remember that.
and well he takes all my nonsense.
all.
my lateness, my pranks, yea.
and as i look back, man that's love right there.
but it didn't quite all start that way.
nonetheless he's my one of my favouritest
gives good advice.
reminds me of what i said last time. "you said thats not a choice..."
and we just had soccer today. sharing a cab together.




:D

somewhere last year somewhere in July(lazy to go flip journal for exact date)

i just find it funny...he already told me this almost one year ago.

so nothing to panic right?

mix me, not with the men that are far spent, who have given up on life and themselves

mix me with the men who daily put their hands to the plough, who have hopes and dreams of glory in their hearts;
who will get up when they fall; who demand more from life and of themselves; who choose not to live a life of frivolity.

let me be numbered among those who will usher in, decade after decade, new glories and new contributions and new and fresh impacts and beneficalness to society and the world at hand.