i may talk "former" glories

but i am. [the glories i speak about]

one step at a time though. one frame at a time. one turn at a time.

although it's gonna be 6 weeks, unemployment is a curse and a disease.

i'll find what means to me, and with His help, i'll find my way back again, and lead us on...

in much labour there is profit...

the less we think about it(in this instance) and the more we do something about it...

i flicked on the kitchen light switch
i glided across the tiled floor
i fumbled around
my hands running through the jars, bottles and furniture
i mused
slightly irritated

i hugged my pot
my usual pot of water
i held it close
the glass was colder than me
i hugged it like a respite and comfort

-nashon

something interesting i read today on the IHT

i think this is when...you read something else someone's gone through and think.

if she could live through the hardship and negativity and of course down times. i think i should too.

it's like inspiration you know?

""I am someone who came from the countryside to the city. I battled and battled, and today my children are studying, with one in college and two others in school. It's a gift from God.""

( IHT article...and side economics analysis of brazil )

looking back at what i've done for the last 10 days.
yea i kinda forgot i did go to the doctors on the 21st.
and so many other things.

i'm lying here. hoping the cards fall in my favour for August.

see that formal shot?
sign of things to come
C:

today i'm pleased to announce what marks the end of the wardrobe aquisitions (save an elusive yellow polo; send speculative CVs to nashon.j@gmail.com thanks!)

well at least the shoe department is fully staffed!

and here's the firm 08-09 formal and casual lineup!

( 08-09 shoe line up )

does it? lol.

who cares. but i care enough to think that way.

watched dark knight. nice show. i kinda totally forgot what happened in batman begins.

the naming conventions all wrong.

normally it should include...batman 2. or batman struggles.

but yea nah i wasn't thrown off just that it sounded retarded. and the posters were abit iffy.

but i liked the show. i guess the trend is fallen heroes.

no one likes a hero that's perfect.

i guess it's like genesis. anything perfect is naive and innocent.

which is, pointless in this day and age.

i also love the way the story is told.

i guess people say it's draggy. but in the midst of it all. it teaches me something.

we're all used to...since young...used to wanting to reach an equilibrium. and fuck it we go celebrate cuz the baddies are in the locker and we can slack our asses off.

wrong.

because that's not how real life is lived.

and well that's not how the movie was done either.

we never reached that fairy tale equilibrium in "the dark knight"

i'm angry with myself whenever i see my current situation
i feel like my head's in a mess
i can party it all away and fuck my future up
and laugh like there's no tomorrow

but inside i know what i need to do i need to do

i've been cultivated(reversely) to let things be done for me
you know be the good boy let parents be happy.
and now it's fucking me back.

i've got to get it out of my system that i needn't do anything

if the damn water's on the table. and i'm too lazy to get up from bed to get it.
guess what. no one's gonna have a drink.

and i also gotta realise.
I shape my boundaries.
i need to remind myself of that.

but when i do. and i look at how things are - job.
and how little time i've spent doing and building the things that matter - fitness, relationships(my way), personal development.

it's like i feel like punching myself.

i hate it.

and if you can understand that. extrapolating the present to the future.
everythings just gonna slip past my hands like sand through holes in a bag.

it gets me even more angry.
it always gets me in the lift.

on the way up.
back to wherever i came from before the day began.

that moment.

i never ever face the lift door when i'm in the lift alone.

i walk in. not turning around.
and the day flashes past me.

my little blue box.
where truth confronts me.
where i fight disappointments.
including that of myself.

that's why i want out. out of singapore.
out of my familiar and lulled comfort.
well constructed and in built by my parents.

but that's why i don't mind losing everything.
to gain a foothold into the next realm.

people think...that's me

i tell you. you ain't seen the real me much.

i've more than 80% of the time subdued.

i'm fully unleashed roughly in sports and soccer.

and even then i'm curtailed because it isn't my career but a bag-full-of-holes-endeavour-that-i-give-my-whole-heart-for

i'm fucking warped.

and i need to change things around.

i need to.

i can't take it anymore.

it feels so headless. and it's eating away at my fitness.

i'm not clear what's next. my runs also go out the window. my training regime too.

to ask why is foregone.

we must move on and move forward.

fuck fuck fuck.

that sounds good.

gosh.

i guess history begins now. in the little choices and the urges i push myself through.

i get to shape history.

and it starts with me.

i'll figure it out i swear.

and i'll make sure i fucking rise to the top.

it's like learning to walk. the limbs of the mind are weak to take action. but by the nuturing opportunies that come their way. pray me i shall take it.

i'd gladly trade a finger or two. just to dominate my life and be on an upward path.

a physical limb or a mental invention, initiative, and intention.

i'd take the latter.

PUT ME ON THE EDGE!

more dense talk shit

only if you want it then click away if not ignore!

met up with a dear friend today
yea we went to central to eat at tomton.
i craved shabu shabu after(u'll see the pics soon; my best meal in japan!) for so long
so ordered black pig shabu shabu

can i say for a 30/pax restaurant
it was food, service, and ambience was totally not up to par.
as in the service wasn't up to par...it's not even up to par with japanese street side stalls. or eating houses.

food? i'd be fine that the black pig was spared his "stress free life".(behind the menu they said "our pigs live a stress free life")
HA shit i should have taken a picture.

and well the black pig meat was not free flow. unlike japan.
and the shabu pot was normal water. there was no flavouring or soup.
i remember (and you'l see) in japan they had 2 different pots.
and 3 dipping sauces(peanut and soya and egg) built into the price.

the price in japan was 24 dollars. free flow. good service. good ingredients. good soup. good ambience. good condiments. good everything.

here singapore. welcome to food hell.and the green tea they served. though thank god it's not like sakae sushi but it was definitely something like a powdered sencha they bought from somewhere.

so is it worth it to shell out 30?
no.

and at the table. i was telling my friend. in japan, when you wanted to call for someone there'd be a button you can press and they'll come.
and it's not only in high class places. or there'll always be someone watching always.

so much for a so called high class restaurant. maybe nowadays you have to shell out at least 50/pax for something close to japan's standard.

pin in the singapore balloon?

anyway it's a known fact we're not a friendly nation. stop the campaigns and when we see ourselves in the mirror maybe we'll bother.

or not and become like taiwan. or something.

the time passed and we ended up talking until there was no more water left. and furthermore i think we were almost the last to leave.

it was great company. and i won't forget the stuff we talked about.
i was learning about work. the different work cultures in here and say elsewhere.
i was taught to fight for my CV. that if i would just sit and do silly work instead of really doing something it would affect my next job. to stand up, and be counted, even if it's mean grinding against the shit working culture here.

so people reading. fight for your CV. you're not in fucking secondary school where that you get told off about your skirt or some shit.

and if you're not appreciated. there are real companies out there who cherish someone with balls and brains. or for gals guts and brains. haha. oo the gender stereotypicalisation's gonna haunt me. but it's all in good writing verbatim fun. wordplay you know? whatever.

yup so as i poured my questions, my friend duly answered and more than that it was a chance to share also what's going on in the life.

my friend shared about recent holiday experience in malaysia and indonesia back in may. going from JB to malacca to port dickson to JB to singapore in a weekend. and not planning the itinery.

and the wonderful colonial cafe find in jakarta. how they ingeniously rented a motorbike from people standing by the roadside. how they got a ticket to fly from batam to jakarta at a cheaper rate by a taxi man who stopped them by a travel agent.

how my friend nearly got evicted on the 2nd day here. just the next day after we met.
my eyes opened with wonder. and i was learning. i wasn't just learning but i knew this was the way to live. that would keep me on my toes and keep my potential flowing. but i've a real life account. and it's not just within my dear friend but it's a culture.

how immigration laws nearly got my friend. but how just reacting to the situation and grabbing opportunities and not giving up we'll still meet even up until feburary!

"you know life's like that i don't plan too far. the world's always changing. the opportunity arises in a way you don't figure. but you are there to grab it. and i do. life is to be enjoyed and that's why i'm still here you know. if not what for. if i'm to stick to just doing silly work the way they want it it's just wasting my time."

working for a singapore boss who epitomised everything that is inherent in our culture was the worst case scenario for my friend.
and so 3 months of struggle ensued. initiative and creative solutions to create more business was frowned upon as long as it wasn't as a result of the bosses direction. any direction of the boss that was frowned upon and refused and replaced with a better solution was deemed rubbish.

some people aren't daring enough to make more money. flat out then why run your business? fool!

so it's like that. i've an ally. a great ally.
and one i've much to learn from too.

"wanna head down for drinks?"
i asked

and so we adjourned down to the morroccan lounge at clarke quay.
i got the chance to try the taste of malibu(a bottle sitting in my collection)
and my friend got a harry's 1992.

it looked real pretty next to each other.
and yea we just continued chatting.
and then it was 0014.
so weird time really flew.

but yea. my suspicions were through. everyone's around roughly the same. and so as not to come across as dense, offensive, or impolite.
i mean it that we're all human and the world really can be a big happy place. or maybe those who are of like feather should have a planet to themselves. so as to prevent bombings and blar.
nonetheless there's so much fun in diversity. and all that colour crap is just what it is. only inner insecurities fill the mouths of men with folly and rubbish.

but anyway. yea. like the first time i met my friend.
towel draped, half naked, after a bathe.

yea uber cool!

enough of the uber dense talk!

it's time to fffffgggggging party!

peace out!

peering off the window
hands on the sill
gripping still so tightly

outside a landslide
the rubble slides down my slope
must i rebuild again

around, the neighbour whizzes by in the new mobile
and the house next door's always having new tenants

my briefcase lies empty on the table
a couple of texts from 1990
the fireplace lies still barren
and the dishes were handed down

-nashon

One day your story will be told,
One of the lucky ones, who´s made his name

One day they´ll make you glorious,
Beneath the lights of your deserved fame.
And it all comes round once in a lifetime like it always does

Everybody loves you cause you´ve taken a chance out on a dance to the moon, too soon

And they'll say told you so, we were the ones who saw you first of all
We always knew that you were one of the brightest stars

One day they´ll tell you that you´ve changed

Though they´re the ones who seem to stop and stare

One day you´ll hope to make the grave, before the papers choose to send you there.

And it all comes round once in a lifetime like it always does,
Nobody loves you cause you´ve taken a chance out on a dance to the moon, too soon

And they'll say told you so, we were the ones who saw you first of all,
we always knew that you were one of the brightest stars

-james blunt

first night, more orientation, on way to stocking up for mt fuji

to calculate yen? remove the two zeroes u see and then multiply by 1.3

100 yen: 1 x 1.3= SGD$1.3

if you're trying to be a bastard u can go multiply by 1.2898 by your own means while shopping. :)

cheap wide variety place, spent more than 150 dollars there overall, cheap alcohol(that's 7x1.3=sgd 9.10 for kahlua), great snacks, always pay by putting into the tray, plastic bags are all see-through, movie-like streets, empty morning streets, 22 degree morning

like i said it wasn't over yet...


sake, yeumizu, kaarage, some egg thing, stuff on sticks "yakitori", green tea, computerised ordering system, great place to have a mafioso meeting

after settling into nishi-waseda (takadanobaba nearest JR station)
we proceeded down the street to have really awesome ramen
comes with free flow of condiments. pickled beansprouts, green tea, pickled vegetables, napkins and chopsticks(not the cheap kind in singapore)


making arrangements trying to locate a certain limgokee - Josh who would climb mt fuji with us

the night's not done yet though...

Enjoy! (i think i took enough pics to get the story)
pictorial up until reaching Keith's residence


and we went to check out the car rental place for our mt fuji car(mazda demio)
and then for our first meal...supper... to be continued!

touched down at around 30minutes to three at singapore's budget terminal

cynically greeted with a mega poster that read "Budget Terminal - Enjoy The Difference"

i was wearing 3 layers on top and 2 layers bottom. standard at the least.

i don't think i've missed singapore at all.

and it's not that singapore ain't that fun.

on the way back on the cab. rushing through my mind was a burning desire to compare, analyse, cross-section, separate, distinguish the differences in the various cities i've been to.

amid the volume of details, a statement came to mind.

singaporeans live like they're really on an island. or "island mentality" to put it.

singaporeans are largely not able to deal with accomodating external demands. there's a stark feeling that, cities like sydney, melbourne, perth, tokyo, and even perhaps taiwan, have come to terms with their place and exposure to the world at large.

that they are not an "island" per se, but freely welcome others to live with and alongside them, even if it's with a different language, culture, race.

to singaporeans, anything new will get mobbed. anything different will get gawked. anything, any single damn thing, that's different is first super skeptically cross examined.

i've come back to my laptop sitting on this table somewhere in the tropics in the world.

i've come back with many things to write about.

all of, experiences, thoughts, conclusions, lessons, exposure, peoples and revolution.

it's 4.22am now. i started typing at around 4am.

i don't want to lose this moment.

where my 2 week experience in australia is just confined to a memory.

when the choices made daily there, are only confined to there and not here, here where i now sit, perhaps temporarily.

i don't want to lose the momentum of learning a new way. of doing things a new way.

it's not the fun that intrigues me. or that i just did so many things, and so many new things everyday in Australia.

it's not just that that i don't want to leave and put into the box. go away and undust it some day.

in a sense, i wish to freeze frame this moment. how even if my eyes were to be a neon signboard saying insomniac. i would not let go.

it's not avoiding the upcoming job search and job hitherto.

i feel all my experiences will help me in expressing myself and benefitting my employer.

but only if i can, as though a living organism, hooked up to a life-support system, encapsulate and implant it forever into what controls and defines and moves me.

beyond the wonderful sights, great action, indulgence, friendships, communication, thoughtfulness, fun and determination manifested during the trip's course

let my cultivation continue

and not look back to what was past.

i am actively stimulated, and definitely, the box world i used to live in has gone into the cardboard refuse cycling plant, never to be the same again.

i really thank my daddy god. i see him and hear him speak, teaching me as i go along, none to the passing eye detects any of such inklings.

ideas! they are priceless. and if any amount of money, could spark a new one, it would be more than handsomely paid off in due time.

well sorta cuz most of these pics were not in taipei and were mostly on the same one day. (gap of pictures after going to leofoo theme park and the last day)

you could say i lost interest halfway after too many night markets and bugis style shopping
plus had to run errands for australia while in taipei

still i think i'm really good at basketball machine now. my highest score is 240! that's 240 without adding the percentages.
:P this from a full soccer lover!

loved playing extremely violent ice hockey at the arcade with zhenyang.

our puck hardly stayed in the playing area and we lost 2 pucks to the ceiling. the arcade attendant was like "shi ni men wan le tai da li le ba"

lol

sitting here at some hotel, in the middle of some country, in the midst of some part of my life

travelling now the 2nd week overseas

seeing new sights, taking in people's culture

opening my eyes to how things are done in other places. understanding where they come from(not in a literal biological sense)

i won't rank the cultures.

but travelling and making "overseas" common

(be prepared for alot of vulgarity, strong expressions, and wind strong enough to blow you out of your comfort zone)

i have 5 firefox browsers open
you may be thinking why? don't u know nashon that it has tabbbbbs?
well each browser has at least 20 tabs.
it's pretty hard to scroll along.

sitting here tying up the documents to bring along. including printing tonnes of wikitravel pages.
i wont' bring my laptop along so. i want some hardcopies.
i love my trip.
i really do.
we're planning so much harder
but i'm going to visit there again.
it's frozen me twice.

but something's worse right now
it's mt fuji.

just to show u my darling that i'm not shitting my ass. i am seriously concerned.

http://www.snow-forecast.com/resorts/Mount-Fuji/6day/top



that's the date we're going...we're aiming to do sun RISE.
so we're setting off by 8pm...we estimate due to darkness, snow, wind, rain, and DARKNESS, plus unfamiliar with the route...
i gave it 8 hours. so we should hit summit by 4am.
sunrise is slated to be 4.05am.

as you can see it's kind of the worst night to do it.
i am a little worried and concerned.
hence my preparation is going to be abit over the top.
plus. having trained in the army, should i sense anything then we'll just descend immediately.

it's not like rambutan hill where i've climbed before.
i kinda feel like we're walking into a big dark black mess.
on the coldest, strongest wind(35km/h), snow, rain, and darkness

i cannot reemphasize the combination of these elements.
if you add in hunger. then it's the perfect combination to bring morale so low. you'd think you were in hell. (+fatigue)

so if any of us gets lost. it's a gone case. or if someone slips. same.

plus. no one else will be around too. except me sean and josh.

i really hope to make it back. my house is quiet now. no wind. nice temperature. silent.

up at mt fuji. it will be cold like fuck. strong wind like fuck. noisy like fuck. cold like fuck. dark like fuck.

yea so back to planning for the rest of the trip. we're going kyoto, himeiji, hiroshima, nikko shrine, and the itsukushima shinto shrine, tsukiji fish market, tokyo disney, atami hot spring, anima onsen

and yea tokyo, and etc.

i'm bringing my toggle rope just in case. big torch light is of course. and yea maps of the kawaguchiko trail too.

maybe the route is really easy...then it will sound like i'm overpreparing.

but in my mind. i really see almost a perfect storm. maybe ti'll be more satisfying to climb it that way.

but i learnt my lessons well in the army. it only takes one moment. and the entire world will come crashing down.

yea. so this will be a good test.

we're renting a car to drive up there. so yea. time to go continue preparing.

i really hope to make it back and post about it here with my new camera(hope it doesn't get frozen out it's operating temps are only 0 to 40 degrees)

hmm. phototaking will be a problem...yea so pray everything will be alright.
i'm not gonna slack in preparation. granted although 300,000 people a year climb it.

like when my mom asked me about skydiving...she said not scared?
i mean to me. it's not about being scared. it's about the training.
so i told her. i'm more concerned about the training.

so same goes here. if we're well equipped. not fatigued to make stupid decisions. and not underestimate the climate conditions and situation.

it should be a piece of cake.

if not. mt fuji just might make us an example. that...of me or my friends...i am determined not to allow to happen

:)

i shouldn't really be online
should be asleep. gotta wake up early to pick up my friend's stuffs and do my heb B jab(doctors earn money by recommending you go for this 3 shots = 60x3 wtf)

and then hope to put in a run (PLEASE) and then it's aussie planning and then it's HOPEFULLY some time to buy the stuff i haven't bought
then...meet up with my friend whom i haven't SEEN in a long time and guess what. just left her job. it's a big thing for her. so yea.

PLUS

i gotta bring everything together. including the documentation and stuff and zip it all up.
i said i can pack in 2 hours. or less!

BUT

everything HAS to be readied. and i tell you i'm really fucked. doubt i can go clubbing. ambitious me.
haiz.

maybe i can spend 2 hours at the aussie itinery discussion and then run off before they notice.

anyway i've done my research on what to do/what website to see for aussie.(i think we need visas...i saw from the australian tourist website)

well... just enough time to breathe i guess.

got a new camera. for sightseeing. i know i said my camera phone could do the job. I STILL BELIEVE IT COULD

but not at night. and not when i'm gonna risk some of the 1000 shots i will definitely take. of the streets of the places and of course...mt fuji's sunrise, ascent descent, every moment yea.

so people who travel with me. FLOW WITH ME YEA? and i guarantee u i'll produce good shots u can show off to all your friends that you had a good time C:

even if u didn't. no one will know. who said the picture lies huh? hahaha...yea so

wanted to rent a SKYLINE or an RX8. plus near Mt FUji is...HAKONE. btw wangan midnight a computer car racing game has a mountain stage and it IS based on HAKONE. i saw the youtube video? it looks exactly the same.

but of course i don't do silly shit with a car if there are people AND if it's not a controlled environment like a race track.

rx-8 is only 100+. but well we're gonna just go for a 1.3 just enough to get us up to kawaguchiko.

i'm VERY familiar with the places now.

now to memorise phrases like...my name is ___. where is the ___. can we take a picture? +D

btw...LIQUID room. tokyo. haha. i'm targetting that maybe when my friend's off with his MS collegues. best techno club in japan.

i saw their website. while not as website stylish as zouk. still it's updated.

it's about 3000 yen? yea. well u can be sure there will be pictures if i do END up there.

i must memorise a translated line that goes...

hi, i'm nashon from singapore. i'm visiting here. how are ya doing/what are ya doing here
wanna chill/dance?

haha. no it's not a pick up line. is it? lol. whatever. anyway...gtg sleep. tomorrow's catching up on me. =D

(btw how do i like cut this entry short...but then if u click the link it appears LONG again?)
hahaha  

today. okay so i missed the 12am deadline.
but well today 3rd June 08. i'm graduated. not in the mood yet cuz i have CFA on sunday.
but something my schoolmate shanice said...pointing at the this snow ice stall we walked past SMU
she said, remember that.
for a moment, still speeding along life. i didn't catch it.

then it all came in.
a bunch of us had snow ice there, 3 years ago. 3 freshies or sophomores.
at that same bench that's there.

3 years. gone. i'm walking free now. free from UOL. hopefully by god's grace a 2:1 2nd upper honours.
and i look back. how far he's brought me.
i wrote in my own personal journal.
things between me and Him. things i can't hold back. things, my heart tells me everyday. and i tell Him.
things that are in essense me.

he's led me through so many things. taking so much. demanding more(from the next)

but i know in this season. He's just been the bestest father and daddy god.
shaping me. showing me stuff, asking my opinion. letting what burns my heart be brought forth.
showing me what life is about, what people are about, the subtle things that go unsaid, how to manipulate things in your favour, why i feel the frustration i feel inside, where does it come from, how do i release it and realise it into reality.

closing the session. he's taught me about friendship. partnership. picking and choosing people who run with you. instead of against you.
people who believe support encourage you. of like feathers. of like beaks. of like scars or scarred before.
i've been quite shui bian about who and what.
but a 'non-decision' is a decision itself.
but i guess i just didn't have a set of values beliefs ideals goals objectives to back up my decisions.

anyway.
it's come and gone. and on sunday i have my CFA.
CFA to me was a choice i made. concerning my career. building my future.
it's part of. though not totally crucial.

i'm moving forward already.
moving on.
like my previous post. my feet will vote.
my mouth will try to communicate and persuade and sway.
my heart will lead, entertain, aide

i have certain targets. targets that are listed on the side.
other targets can't be listed because i just wanna have it there. until it's done.

i really want to be shipped overseas. maybe to utretch. maybe to london. maybe to dubai. maybe to shanghai. maybe to new york.

i want to be developed stretched.

my far sighted(i like) friend was asking me as we walked out of the expo hall 4a. he even asked us to take picture. awesome! i was too caught up. too machine like. forgetting. after all i known him 3 years too. he's a nice chap.
we were discussing about MSc. and GMAT.
i say yea. i'll probably do it once i settle my job.



my other friend got her offer from hyatt, i'm really happy for her. 2.4k/pm. i believe she can do very well. i've always told her that. i still believe so.
i know a winner when i see one. yea so go get the world girl!
but in my heart i'm like, shit, i've been sending resumes since last year.
still nothing. i really don't want to waste time doing say customer service, sales, or even settlements.
i mean i can. so many openings. but it's not. it's not. it's not.

it's like telling me to learn basketball when all i ever loved my life is soccer.
i've made some bad choices. and even about soccer. but i learn and won't make those again

if i do end up on the streets of shit somewhere.
i'll still churn out what my profession requires. surely God can develop me to develop a trading system or innovative product that everyone needs. i feel i need to be on the receiving end of shit to respond.

some people question why i move out. i think it's awesome. i still do.
i don't think i'll move back.
but i do say my family relationship has improved. we've talked more in the few hours we sit together than the last 6-7months before i moved out.
we appreciate each other more, and well are forced to communicate more.

i've also learnt, sometimes, the only one who believes in what you're doing is you.
but that's all you need.
and that's all i need right now.

looking back. so maybe i didn't get 1st class honours like i set out and wished to do.
but i was so dis-focused. so living so many lives. trying to do too many things at once. (still do)

it's like driving a car. if you hit the corner turning in with too much power on the throttle. you're either going straight into the wall while turning.
or you're gonna get your car spinning out.

well but i must say. it's time to consolidate some of my friendships.
it's a small group of them.
but yea i cherish them cuz well they kinda accept my retarded nonsense.

looking back, there was something consistent. i was always late for class.
i was asking god why. as in like just laughing curious.
he just told me. innately right. i was always bored and when i understood what was happening. i would turn off immediately after that.

although coming late meant missing much. and having to rely on others for information.
you loved it innately because it challenged you.

looking back at my final year. i played like there was no tomorrow.
i was working part time up until november.
when school term started in september!
december was full of gatherings, playing.

the nonstop activities lasted until may.
when i finally toned down. for 2 weeks i didn't run or shit.(feel like shit now)
just pure study and sleep.
it felt alien. and there were times my focus was lost.
i denied myself. i'd just stare. i'd fiddle with my phone. i'd sing songs. escape from the work at hand

but then he'd remind me not to do that so...yea.

i danced, i clubbed, i drank(not much), i hung out, i watched movies, i played football, i went running, i moved out, i socialised.

my job searching will continue.

my studying will continue. beyond cfa also. because i know it's part of what ill be doing anyway.

yea i guess part of growing up is choosing what u can do. and sticking to it for the rest of your life.

work is work. fun is fun. u can have both. and there can be both in both!

whatever la...

so yea. i've graduated. my counter on my other blog has run it's course from the first year i put it there.

*fake tears*

i can't cry now. i wish to. to say thank you Daddy God. to thank you for what's going to come because i know i'll challenge you in every way to give me more. but also that you are just gonna take care of me.

i was listening to mariah carey's bye bye the whole of this morning last night while i was studying(slpt 4 hrs only)

it just felt right. it gave my heart meaning. i'm studying for my last paper.

i felt i was saying bye bye...yet i knew there'd be a time i would be number 1...but who would be with me then?

C:

C: