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01:05 am November 30th, 2008
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breather between breaths
1 month's passed since I've started at JLL.

I like my job's function. and i love the limitless potential it can have due to it's pretty flat structure.

I pretty much hate how my fitness has jsut tanked. plus being sick for 1 week too doesn't help.
i miss that free feeling...kinda like back when it rained while i was running but i loved it the more!

things are moving...swirling around me and my dearie...

i feel...it's us against the world...i feel...well i'm more of just starting out...

but i've committed myself to a few things for the rest of my life...and...using my 2 feet and arms are part of it...

it's the stability of activities that...i never had...and lacking of...have not built anything substantial in the last 24 years.

i've been granted another chance at life by Daddy God...and now with a dearie babe with me... i don't wanna jinx it by saying i wanna be forever with her...but that's exactly how i feel...despite the number of critical fights we've had...i love her...and more than that...wanna walk out life with her...

with...

is such a different world...and a different word...Daddy God's teaching me too...and my dearie has been uber gracious to me too...

despite her tears...

sometimes i don't understand...i still don't...but i say my prayers of thanks...of gratitude... for the blessing...

moving onward and forwards with my dearie by my side...i'm aiming for a few things...and will stick to it...

enough of all the confusion...delving into sciences(in the confusion of pri,sec,and jc)

i swear i'll never let any of my kids enter that confusion...

then they'll be useless by the time their 18 or 19. still useless i mean.

i envision them to move on with life...and have a fun life too...

so the things i'm aiming to stick to are well...things held closely in my heart...only my Daddy knows...and my dearie too

the world is a pretty treacherous place if you let it get to you...in 2007 i learnt the painful lesson of letting others control you...

i've learnt that i've my own value, own balls, and own worth to dictate my own path. sometimes i think i'm bollocking... but it doesn't mean i'm brash.

so right now...as the earth has been dug deep...the caves and passages are still dark with undevelopment...but the ground is prepped...

i've all i have to move on...

and may my mind stay focused, happy, contented, and hungry for more in the paths i'm choosing to go into.

for the path of the righteous shines brighter and brighter until the perfect day

Daddy thank you for taking care of me and my dearie all of these days and the days ahead...

for i have not seen the righteous gone hungry or beg for bread

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12:41 am June 9th, 2008
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going out in a flaming blaze and a waterfall
it's over
my degree is over. BSc. Economics and Management

and Level I test is over too(pass or fail we'll find out soon)

had a dinner at lousy yoshinoya @ central. rice was stale everything was stale.

trooped over to jazz@southbridge

friends were abit apprehensive about the flamingLambo

so i just took the plunge.

it was okay.

about half an hour late. i and yang shared the waterfall. it was not as bad as the lambo.

i sit here now in a slightly not normal state.

but i'm happy.

i'm happy that i've returned to a happy state.

life was always meant to be happy. i was always meant to be self-confident. self-assured.

i'm happy. God told me He loves me no matter what today. as i was washing my face @ about 8am in the morning.

i get to do my career stuffs. althouhg i really wnana move overseas.

i've been telling people my prediction in 5 years time. there's no space in singaproe.

i'm seriously considering moving overseas.

i will work my ass off. but i cannot stand overcrowding. 3 years have come and gone and i do FEEL the effects of the government trying to increase full employment past up until a max popuulation of 6million.

maybe it works maybe it doesn.t

the other good thing is that i'll mvoe to a low tax area. hongkong . georgia. cayman islands. etc.

plus skip reservist once for all.

aged whatever. i realise. i do have th epower to choose what i want in my life.
from friends, activities. my name.

and now. citizenship according to benefits that help my career and future.

some people are happy and call themselves successful when they get a S class.

for me. i think. wtf is an S class. why would i listen to what you say if all you can think of is an S class..

WTF 300k only.

please. o please. i would rather commit suicide if that's all i get in life.

so maybe i forget what i deserve in life thank to Jesus.

but wheni remember. i remember all the way.

i beleiuve i'm worth at least 300billion dollars in this life time.

so S class....i MEAN WTF IS AN S CLASS

how about a MOzzler?

screw u small minded people.

i didn't live on past 7th july 2001 for an S class.

so yea. maybe i'll start a family soon. i don't know.

i know that today i graduate fully.

today. i wear my career hat forever.

i get the full chance to build my life....

so all u fugging small minded people. go suck if you're not happy with what u have 20years later ok?

if you wanna eat 2000 calories a day and complain why my fat level is so high...GO FIGURE

thanks. i'm a dose of reality.

and like stout. it's abit bitter.

nonetheless i love the people near me. and as much as i can i wanna love them int he way love is.

love accepts, edifys, and self sacrifices.

nonetheless. the blue print is the same

don't taint me with your shitty small expectations of your own life

GO !!!!! a TREE. yes. hope you enjoy the shag too in the meanwhile...

i'll seeya when i seeya.

cheers

BOOYAH!

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09:59 pm June 6th, 2008
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last 3 days before June 9th
wazzzup!
i'm not freaking out that i no-bullshit-assessment that i do not have enough time for CFA.
which idiot thought to study content that encompasses 3 years of an LSE degree + A level stats + investment theory
in 4 days.
and the paper would unleash everything in mcq(o they're merciful) format in 6 hours.

 i pray the Lord guide my pencil.

but beyond making dumb excuses. I AM THAT IDIOT.

i regret. but what to do. this is like the euro2008s(starts FREAKING tomorrow)
right after the end of the season of playing 60-70 club games!

i love what i'm studying. that's why i can just wake up. and stone in front of what i'm studying for long hours.
i get excited when i read regression. i get excited when i see NYSE or GIMP or GAAP
and NNP G Y NX MPL MPK
and Accounts receivable, payable, CAPITAL, EQUITY,

i really do. i really really swear and honest to god. like looking at a really hot babe on the street or hot guy.(must be non singaporean or look non singaporean)

that it does excite me the same way.

soccer excites me abit more. and maybe completing my sessions of training.

but after those two. it's that!

my dread. my hatred is that i've now only less than 48 hours left.
AND

i don't have any more NO2 to boost me.

i refuse to study through the night because i'll lose my brain power(industrial econs proved that)

but i do love ALL that i'm studying. financial statement analysis. economics. quantiative methods. ethics. fixed income and derivatives and alternative investments.

i mean...if you wanna know what nashon's about. he gets excited about those.

but i'm fucked la.

it's like asking me to train up for 80km run. when i only have 3 days.

i love running. i DO one day aspire to be at that level...BY JESUS NAME!

but yea...it just sucks la...

so i do foresee myself doing cfa again in december...bar a retarded miracle. retarded because it doesn't help build my character.
but if i get it then i'll do level II in december or june next yr lor and duly thank god for it.

but i know i WANT to read up on all these. because these are industry standards. and stuff i love.

not jsut to build up my resume or some shit. yea.

but i do feel tired. i really do. i miss screaming in the lift.

i miss screaming my own songs and jibberish and talking utter rubbish with excitement.
i miss running with joy swimming with love cycling with pursuit

gargh. 3 days to june 9th. when it all ends. and something else begins.

i've already lined up all my activities fer next week up until i fly off at 1015am Friday

so yea. but cna i say. economics is such a different sub to like CF.

it's so interesting. cuz CF is like so totally looking in the box.

but economics is so looking at the entire earth that the  box exists in.

haha!

i love all! C: muaks!

it's like having a date knowing u got only 45mins with ur date...i mean WTF MAN!

haha.

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01:54 am June 2nd, 2008
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objectives in my career and life ahead
http://edition.cnn.com/2008/BUSINESS/05/30/CMI.question/index.html

Article: "How to retain talent."
Jo Causon
Director, marketing and corporate affairs
Chartered Management Institute

Wider research by the Chartered Management Institute shows that managers are highly motivated and looking to be stretched. They are also focused on their long-term development and building the skills necessary for career success. So to retain talent in the long-term, organizations need to find varied ways of tapping into an individual's enthusiasm for learning. But to be worthwhile, any development must be linked to the business strategy, with a clear return on investment.


To maximize development for both individuals and the organization, it is important to take a multi-faceted approach. It is not just about classroom learning, although this certainly plays a part. Think about other avenues of professional development including mentoring programs, networking events, online learning resources and cross-functional working opportunities. Project management is also an effective way of developing individuals' leadership and collaborative skills. In today's environment, individuals are looking to build a portfolio of skills that will open up a wide range of possibilities for them.


We also know that they are looking for transferable skills which can be applied to a number of different employers and industry sectors. Indeed, wider research by the Institute shows that 76 percent are looking for transferable skills that are portable to other positions and sectors. And while many employers may question the value of building skills which can so easily be taken elsewhere, providing individuals with the opportunity to develop professionally will have an impact on how well organizations attract and retain the best talent. Why? Because evidence shows that if you don't provide development opportunities, managers will vote with their feet and look for an organization that does.

---

the bold stuffs are actually what i have in mind as i begin my career soon.
in other words, i'm after what those managers are wanting.
it's something that burns in my heart. i want to be stretched. i want to be developed. i want opportunities.

so in that case.

i'm pretty flexible about where to begin. basically want an exposure to capital markets, derivatives, equities, trading, products, business-ideas in capital markets,risk.

NOT sales. NOT client/private wealth management. NOT corporate actions/hr/IT/n others.

but on top of that like all the stuff in bold.

the article may be about how organisations might consider improving to retain talent.

but it also shows how i feel about myself.

i'm all about moving forward.

i seek to challenge myself. i seek to accomplish, develop, build, expand myself.

and the article captures what i feel.

i'm learning to ask myself about whether am i completing my own objectives. because at the end of the day i have to answer to myself, when i look at where i want to be, and where i am at.

so i get to make those choices.

if you infer and extrapolate how i feel, over how my life will be over the next 2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10 years...so that'll be 2018.

i won't be wasting my time in organisations that don't build me to take more on. and perhaps that includes some organisations.

i have my objectives. and there's not much time to waste in developing me first before i can accomplish those.

and those objectives accomplish my goals. and those goals sit well within the deepest regions of my heart.

so like what i said to some people who were not-getting-it with my plans. i tried to communicate. so best as i could muster and lump rationale, communication, and demanding a clear-cut response.

"if you love me, encourage me."

and like an entry i posted somewhere in march'08 in this blog.
i give you the offer to be part of the solution. if you reject it. then you're just part of the problem.

and i like to think of myself as very good at solving problems.

it's in my resume anyway. (okay not about the paragraph below)

like how i treat my football. i'm very clinical in putting the ball into the back of the net(scoring goals) and very clinical in my tackling(dispossesing the opposition of the ball). i make sure it's done, done well and don't stop until it's done, and on top of that, it also fits into the whole big picture of the game.(meaning you tackle at the right moment, so that you can counter-attack easiest)

so that's my style. my innate work flow. so if you're not getting-it-with-me. well...too bad then.
you can't fool me with pseudo-"love and interest in my life" and pseudo-mentorship just so i can run your biddings

when all along you were never interested in developing me, never interested in my objectives. and still ain't.

so I "will vote with their(my) feet and look for an organization that does..."


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12:11 am April 15th, 2008
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of bean counters and corporate hob nosh
got my text books for CFA from bro Louis today
he's soooo kind and great to lend these expensive stuffs and calculator to me
it's 2 months away and will have to juggle an extra "subject" on top of 4 others.

i see it more of an investment into my career. and plus
something in me jumps when i see derivatives, swaps, and stuff like that.
open the page n see all fucking calculations and percentages.
awesome!
now to get down to gobbling it up...

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01:55 am April 5th, 2008
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he saw it coming...
somewhere last year somewhere in July(lazy to go flip journal for exact date)
daddy god popped this to me. when it's just me n him ;d

"don't worry about the job market situation when you are gonna graduate. it will be bad. but don't you worry i'll get you to where you need to be"

the economic situation in July 2007 was still frothing with enthusiasm
the discussions back then were can the Dow hit 15000. Chinese stock index was at 5000+. and sgx share price was at 13+(hahaha asses!)

and the subprime default wave had only just begun. if only the tiny ripples that did not announce itself on prime time tv until september(bastards)

and so today's CNBC article says firms are cutting back on graduate recruitment. (i've been rejected by all my pref tier banks for research and/or investment banking positions thru their websites)

http://www.cnbc.com/id/23955512

not including the overall job market situation. (i told u we were already recessionish. fools!)

250 graduates-to-be who were supposed to end up at Bear Stearns have been chopped by JP Morgan.

and etc.

i just find it funny...he already told me this almost one year ago.

so nothing to panic right?

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12:44 am April 1st, 2008
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va va voom
today's the last night at kovan and i'll be moving over to telok blangah tomorrow 10-11am ish. maybe by bus. most likely by taxi because i'd look ridiculous and my luggage is bigger than 2 duffel bags.

i was chatting with the new tenant, Adrien, and he's living where i wanna be
i mean singaporeans, get ur damn asses off the comfort zone and get into where the real life's norms are at yo
he's actually a french intern, he got picked off a job search website to do 6 months business development
he's doing the last 6 months of his masters, he previously studied for 4 years at a generic school(not bsc.)
he lived 1 year in vietnam last year, and worked there at sophitel(not sure abt spelling) with a chance(totally!) meeting with the marketing director who bumped into him as both her and the security at the opposite building(to sophitel, a french hotel) was asking him what he was doing.
he at first just told them, non non just looking for the french bank, cuz he was looking for a job, he went to vietnam to take a break and also find a job.
and the marketing director asked him you are looking for the french bank, he said yes just looking, and she's like are you looking for a job, here's my card.
and that's how he got a job in vietnam for 1 year in marketing.
he's 25. he told me, as i was asking with great curiousity, he was only 20 he suddenly had that phase where u begin to think about what ya gonna do in life and only after vietnam, he finally got it coming.
"in life it's like that, the chance, sometimes you need to be at the good place and good time yea..." in his french-style english

so with that 1 year experience, he applied for the masters at tolouse university.
he's from this small town of nymis, just off montpellier, half an hours drive from the south coast of france. has architecture similar to rome(close proximity to industrial italy's north)

he had worked at monaco before. and it was too expensive so he stayed at nantes. (!!!!!)
all at the south of france. monaco is a principality state, think super rich nation. wonderful architecture and people too!

he was asking if singapore managers earned much i said...3.5-6...and if 8k and above...2-5yrs exp depending on field...and if in marketing...well not so good...
he paused awhile to recompute what he's heard...cuz france gets u about 2k euro...Sgd 4k odds...
he said france didn't have good jobs...

i asked about his girlfriend. he said it's been 3 years, but it's been tough for her.
i asked what about getting married, i pre-empted his response actually, he said, not surprising to me, it's something she would like but right now for him it's tough
and he was saying, staying in france just to be together, he felt he would miss something out(his career)
i nodded, laughed, as we chatted over the singaporean kitchen, i wanted to exchange my world for his, and wondered why i haven't yet(all as he unfolded his story)
in my heart i wish he was a visitor of me from the future
maybe not in marketing/business development
but i would like to look back 2 years later...telling the nashon of 2008...i'm here in dubai...i'm here in calais...i'm here in london...i'm here in shanghai...
i also laughed and told him...yea that's why i'm single...i don't wanna put her at strains...i'm overseas...she's not...
i get where girls are coming...but girls gotta get where we're coming...to us guys our career is our cutting tool... it also develops our character at the same time too...etc...

but yea...my eyes really opened when he told me about how he landed the job in vietnam, fresh out of school, in a foreign land, and a by chance only meeting, where she offered him the job "i did not come to her, she came to me you know" damn i love the way the french phrase stuff.

i offered my cest vu lei and bon nuit and yes yes my favourite...je ne comprehen pas...which means i don't understand...
i'm abit sad cause if i stayed longer...i'd learn more french!

i promised myself i wouldn't be out late tonight.
but i'm abit yea...no more macs at telok blangah.
and yea like what my great friends trudy and jiawen advise..."you should be mugging"
"everyone else is mugging and you're like having so much time for other things"

which is good. i told them i had all to play for and cfa. and they're like. ya and in the final year you're playing more than ever.

note to self. if job market here sucks. go desperate and knock on alot more doors. this time in london, dubai, or shanghai, or toronto or anywhere. just not give up yo.
i was thinking to self. should i compromise and go for the *dreaded* client wealth management area. maybe in 10 years time i will have some sort of that kind of function in my portfolio. but maybe not now.

at least i'm on the edge.

and i believe.

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Nashon Loo
Name: Nashon Loo
Website: My Website
recent entries
skin deep
2009 wants:
------
Tri/Road Bike
Tiffany Atlas Ring(in silver)
Boxing classes
CFA Level I
Meet/Play with Becks

2009 challenge:
----------
2:1 studies(done '08)
1 client presentation
8 triathlons/marathons
relocation
and others...

promise:
--------
in '07 i promised myself i would no longer trade reality for a pseudo one.

and cuz nothings changed.
things given are still enabled.
so it's still the same.
He enables me.

2008 was tough. everything about me was under attack. but i kinda think i've come out stronger from it. or just lived through the siege to live another day ahead.

i still want to be on the edge and remain true to the things that are me. and on top of that value the relationships around me in every sort or form.

quotes:
-------
"all the beautiful sentiments in the world weigh less than a single lovely action"
-James Russel Lowell

"Little minds are taxed and subdued by misfortune but the great minds rise above it."
-Washington Irving

"Deliberation is the function of many; action is the function of one" -C Gaulle

"Change your thoughts and you change your world."
-Norman Vincent Peale

"It's not about getting what you want, but wanting what you've got..."
-sheryl crow song
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